Fountainhead Babysitting Service (not really a book report on The Fountainhead, by Ayn Rand)

"Hello. Is this the Fountainhead Babysitting Service?"
"Yes."
"We need a babysitter for tonight."
"Why?"
"We're going to the movies."
"Movies are a mindless distraction from reality."
"But we're going to see Shrek."
"You should be spending your time in profitable work."
"I worked all day. Now we're going out to relax."
"You must give of your all, exploding in a paroxysm of creation, only to rise again from exhaustion to begin the promethean act of creation anew."
"I install sinks."
"Oh."
"So, you come highly recommended, but I just want to ask you a few questions."
"Very well."
"What will you do if the baby starts crying?"
"Endeavor to explain that crying is contrary to a life of rational self-interest."
"And if that doesn't work?"
"I shall say, 'Cootchie-cootchie-coo.'"
"Well, that sounds okay. Can you sing Rockabye Baby?"
"No, that is an empty-headed delusion describing an illogical fantasy of an outmoded era."
"Okay, but…"
"I shall sing The Wheels On The Bus Go Round And Round, which is firmly rooted in reality and modernity."
"That sounds fine."
"A is A."
"So I've heard. He also likes it if you read Goodnight Moon."
"It is fundamentally irrational to bid goodnight to inanimate objects."
"But he really likes…"
"Instead, I shall read Peter Rabbit, a cautionary tale of how the takers of the world believe themselves entitled to the production of the true workers of the world, as exemplified by the Olympian ideal, Mr. McGregor."
"That sounds fine. Can you be here at 6?"
"Time is irrelevant to the self-directed individual striving to make his or her intellectual mark on a world ignorant of the …"
"How about 6:30?"
"Fine."

Comments

Anonymous said…
Here's a link I think you'll enjoy:
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2010/8/12hague.html

Peter O.
October 21, 2010 at 6:57 AM
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